Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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