It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
