I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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