I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I wear drunk well.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
