No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.