There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
