I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
