I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
