She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
