Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I believe in your delicious
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
