i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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