the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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