Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
