You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
