Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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