i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
