Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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