Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
