i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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