i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
