Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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