I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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