Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
