Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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