I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
