Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
