I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
