My nipple is on Facebook.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
