his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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