I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It was confusing and full of hummus
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
