No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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