he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
