Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to