The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
