yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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