Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother

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  (401): we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother http://tfl.nu/h33i
  Replies (2) Good night (1795) Bad night (1311)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my phone needs a breathalizer

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  (413): my phone needs a breathalizer http://tfl.nu/d0rn
  Replies (15) Good night (2413) Bad night (699)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.

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  (480): This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner. http://tfl.nu/bzec
  Replies (9) Good night (4105) Bad night (907)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.

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  (479): Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain. http://tfl.nu/si9l
  Replies (13) Good night (1060) Bad night (5084)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  she has no idea

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  (973): after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college (973): she has no idea http://tfl.nu/zn6b
  Replies (25) Good night (5313) Bad night (1206)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.

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  (312): This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/7nbz
  Replies (28) Good night (5274) Bad night (2387)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon

  (1-631): View more from New York

  wow.

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  (631): lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon (1-631): wow. http://tfl.nu/6n98
  Replies (20) Good night (4891) Bad night (1680)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy

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  (774): I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy http://tfl.nu/fre1
  Replies (7) Good night (2699) Bad night (1279)
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  (831): View more from California

  You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint

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  (831): You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint http://tfl.nu/ergy
  Replies (5) Good night (1766) Bad night (1259)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.

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  (604): I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/byss
  Replies (3) Good night (1281) Bad night (552)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD

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  (614): Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD http://tfl.nu/nf04
  Replies (9) Good night (1466) Bad night (522)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver

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  (352): Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver http://tfl.nu/yics
  Replies (7) Good night (1296) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell

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  (215): There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell http://tfl.nu/i2t1
  Replies (10) Good night (2059) Bad night (945)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.

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  (780): I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face. http://tfl.nu/4tu2
  Replies (3) Good night (912) Bad night (475)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him

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  (773): his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him http://tfl.nu/maqg
  Replies (13) Good night (321) Bad night (648)

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