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• (212): View more from New York

  I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He was THIS close.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  That is a hangover

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would prefer a headache

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!

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• (949): View more from California

  It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  It would be weird sobbing cry sex.

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