Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  He looks like a bad one night stand.

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  (561): Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced. (1-561): He looks like a bad one night stand. http://tfl.nu/5suu
  Replies (52) Good night (726) Bad night (2742)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...

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  (817): I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working... http://tfl.nu/rly7
  Replies (20) Good night (1270) Bad night (3453)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.

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  (832): you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would. http://tfl.nu/dwd2
  Replies (7) Good night (5365) Bad night (2627)
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  (510): View more from California

  Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.

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  (510): Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret. http://tfl.nu/p1m5
  Replies (2) Good night (1113) Bad night (3666)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair

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  (978): vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair http://tfl.nu/uyhj
  Replies (5) Good night (2782) Bad night (927)
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  (408): View more from California

  Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.

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  (408): Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding. http://tfl.nu/o5ps
  Replies (7) Good night (2897) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.

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  (319): I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie. http://tfl.nu/hxcl
  Replies (13) Good night (3221) Bad night (1268)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  Why?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."

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  (609): My professor just gave us a margarita recipe. (1-609): Why? (609): Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life." http://tfl.nu/ong0
  Replies (12) Good night (3405) Bad night (708)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back

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  (540): I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back http://tfl.nu/d3ys
  Replies (5) Good night (967) Bad night (473)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..

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  (505): Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore.. http://tfl.nu/qq6k
  Replies (8) Good night (1289) Bad night (704)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.

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  (847): We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude. http://tfl.nu/9etc
  Replies (9) Good night (1764) Bad night (733)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler

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  (615): And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler http://tfl.nu/itqd
  Replies (5) Good night (397) Bad night (1010)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.

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  (417): Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that. http://tfl.nu/gtr5
  Replies (0) Good night (621) Bad night (362)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?

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  (519): What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ? http://tfl.nu/ckpy
  Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (574)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  ... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.

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  (+49): ... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany. http://tfl.nu/88tv
  Replies (0) Good night (519) Bad night (209)

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