trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
