oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Found the puke drawer
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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