I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
