All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
