Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
