dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
