Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
