Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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