you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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