Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
