PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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