And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
