it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
