i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
