absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
