She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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