One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
