you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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