operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
