yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
