i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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