I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
