Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
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