i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
