the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
