how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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